Falling into Exposure Page 9

  “But what about Maddox Corp?” Anya shrieks across the table.

  “I will be stepping down from Maddox Corp, and either Abel or Angelina may take my place if they wish.”

  “That is the most ludicrous thing I’ve ever heard,” Anya states with disgust.

  “Nonsense,” Mrs. Maddox cuts in, panic and embarrassment etched into her delicate features. “This is just a silly dream of his, he needs to get it out of his system. But rest assured he will remain at the company.”

  Her words are ice cold, and when I glance up at Gabriel, his barely restrained pain is obvious. And it pisses me off. I don’t know his family, and I should probably stay out of it, but I can’t help myself. Nobody else is defending him.

  “Well, I think Gabriel’s going to do great,” I volunteer, squeezing his hand beneath the table. “He’s smart and driven, and he knows exactly what he wants.”

  Everyone around the table stares at me like I’ve sprouted three heads as Mrs. Maddox narrows her eyes in my direction. I know I’ve crossed the wrong woman, but I don’t care.

  “Oh please,” she jeers, dismissing my opinion with a wave of her perfectly manicured hand. “Where do you think the money comes from, sweetheart? He sure as hell won’t be getting a dime from us if he goes through with this plan, so you can forget whatever you have in mind. I can see right through your act, you little gold digger.”

  I feel like I’ve been bitten by a viper as I recoil from the pure hatred in her tone. This is Caroline Maddox, no holds barred. I haven’t even taken my first bite of food, and I feel like I’m going to vomit. I stand abruptly, nearly knocking my chair over in the process.

  “I’m not interested in your money, and I’m sorry that you feel that way. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be leaving.”

  I burst out the door, Gabriel hot on my heels as I scurry down the hall.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Victoria

  The whole car ride home, Gabriel stays on his own side, brooding. He’s looking out the window, his spine rigid and unyielding as he drums his fingers across his thigh. When I try to talk to him, he simply shakes his head and tells me to wait until we get to his apartment. I feel uneasy, but try to give him his space.

  Once we arrive, I briefly entertain the idea of getting a cab and heading home. But before I can even decide, he grabs me by the hand and drags me inside. He releases me as soon as he shuts the door, ambling over to the leather couch and sitting down. He watches me take off my shoes, his expression unreadable.

  I can’t tell if it’s me he’s angry with because I’ve never seen him like this before. I figure I probably overstepped my boundaries by talking to his mother that way, but it couldn’t be helped. I hated seeing how she treats him.

  “Come here,” Gabriel commands.

  I walk to him slowly, gazing down into his stormy blue eyes. And I realize as I step closer, that it isn’t anger behind those eyes, but something else entirely. A mixture of anguish and longing. He reaches up for my hand and tugs me onto his lap, spreading my legs so that I’m straddling him. He wraps his arms around me, fisting his hands in the fabric of my dress. And then he pulls away, looking lost.

  “Kiss me,” he whispers. It isn’t his usual commanding tone. It sounds more pleading than anything.

  He’s relinquishing control, letting down his guard for me to tell him how I feel about him. To prove to him that I want this as much as he does. And since I don’t have the courage to say the words that I really feel in the moment, I show him instead.

  I stare back at him, pouring every ounce of emotion that I can into my expression. I want him to see, to understand how I feel about him.

  “Do anything you wa….”

  I put my finger to his mouth to silence him and then replace it with my own lips. I kiss him sweetly, taking my time and savoring the moment. All I’ve wanted to do since I met him was explore his body, and for the first time, Gabriel’s giving me free rein. I cup his face in my hands, deepening the kiss, to which Gabriel responds fervently. I can tell he’s struggling with control, but he follows my lead, watching me carefully to see what I’ll do next.

  I graze my teeth down along his jaw before moving onto his neck. The scent of his cologne lingers there, and I inhale deeply, soaking it up greedily while I run my hands through his hair. I nip and lick the sensitive flesh, and Gabriel lets his head fall back against the cushion, giving me unrestrained access. His hands fall limply to his side, and his entire body relaxes beneath me. My fingers move to the buttons of his shirt, undoing them slowly.

  He opens his eyes as the last button slides free, revealing his broad chest. His skin is flushed with heat, his heart beating strong beneath my fingertips. I trace the lines of his tattoos, and a pained sound escapes his throat, but he doesn’t stop me.

  I want to say something profound, but again, the words aren’t there. So instead, I lean in and kiss him where his heart resides. It’s a simple gesture, but one Gabriel seems to appreciate as his gaze locks with mine. Neither of us looks away, and in that moment, I realize just how intimate eye contact is. It’s something he’s denied me before when he was in control, but not now. Now I can see into his very soul, to the depths of his hunger… for me. It’s still hard to wrap my head around that, so I don’t even bother trying.

  He groans when I move down to his pants, releasing his swollen cock beneath me. I stroke him with my palm, enjoying the feeling of his velvety flesh against my heated skin. His eyes are hooded now, and he is watching me with anticipation as I nudge him against my arousal. I use his shoulders to support myself as I wiggle my dress up around my hips, sinking down onto him slowly.

  A mumbled curse whooshes from his lips, but his eyes are molten hot as he watches me rock my hips against him. This beautiful man, who has the power to do anything he wants to me, is giving me control. I know it isn’t easy for him, and I want to show him how much I appreciate this gift.

  I roll my hips forward and back, taking him in and out in a torturously slow rhythm. He doesn’t move, and there’s something so erotic about that. I can see now why he likes to control because the power that I have in this moment is intoxicating. I capture his mouth with mine, and Gabriel doesn’t hold back as he kisses me possessively. It sparks the mounting need inside of me, and I reach for his hands, moving them to my waist.

  He groans as I increase the pace of my movements, taking what I need from him. I throw my head back and let the passion take over, riding him until everything inside of me detonates. I collapse against him, milking out the tremors until there’s nothing left.

  And then, in a moment of extraordinary bravery, I cup his face and bring his gaze to mine. “I love you, Gabriel,” I whisper.

  He freezes beneath me, his body rigid as he stares back at me with assessing eyes. I know he’s probably heard it before from a lot of women who didn’t mean it. But I’m not one of them, and I want him to know that.

  Minutes seem to pass as he searches my eyes, his cock still hard inside of me. We aren’t moving, just staring at each other. I feel vulnerable under his scrutiny… and nervous. I don’t know what he’s thinking, and I feel panic setting in. Gabriel sees it and wraps me in his arms and crushes his lips to mine. Instead of speaking, he starts moving inside of me again, and I don’t know what to make of that.

  I fist my hands in his hair, never taking his eyes from mine.

  “I didn’t mean to,” I sob. “But I do. God help me, I’m in love with you Gabriel Maddox.”

  He grins and grunts at the same time, looking so fucking adorable I never want this moment to pass.

  His thrusts grow quicker, his hands touching me everywhere as his lips lay claim to my neck. He sucks and nips at my skin until I’m certain he’s marked me, and then he shudders inside of me with a powerful growl.

  He pulls me against his chest and strokes my back, nothing but the sound of our breaths filling the room. We lay there forever, not saying a word, and my eyes are growing heavy. He’s still
inside of me, and I like that. I like that he hasn’t moved.

  “You are so different, Victoria,” he whispers, stroking my hair away from my face.

  I give him a gentle kiss, and then he scoops me into his arms and carries me down the hall. We pass by the room that we normally stay in, and I glance up at him. He doesn’t say anything, but when he opens the door, I know we’re in his bedroom.

  I look around, surprised by the warmth of this room compared to the cold starkness of the other one. Gabriel sets me down on a plush California King bed with gray and blue blankets, and I sink in with pure delight, noticing it smells like him. Across the room, there’s a large dressing table, a bookshelf, and to my delight, a fireplace.

  When he sees my face light up, he reaches for a remote on the nightstand next to me. With the push of a button, the fireplace blazes to life.

  “Come here.” He motions for me.

  He turns me around and unzips my dress, pulling it off and tossing it onto the chair. Then he pulls back the covers and lays me in his bed, curling up beside me. It’s blissful and warm and exactly where I need to be.

  ***

  The next morning I’m up bright and early, making several deliveries before meeting Alanna for lunch. There’s an extra spring in my step as I think about the night before. While it was a total disaster meeting Gabriel’s mother and seeing Anya again, the emotions that came out afterwards made it worthwhile. And even though he didn’t say it back, I don’t care. I know how he feels about me whether he says the words or not.

  As I sit down at the café, greeting Alanna with a smile, she seems equally happy.

  “Just look at us!” she beams. “How pathetic are we? I can’t stop fucking smiling.”

  “I know what you mean.” I laugh.

  “So tell me everything,” she insists.

  An hour later, there’s a familiar gold box waiting for me in front of the apartment. I smile as I pick it up and carry it inside. While Alanna heads to the kitchen to get a glass of water, I sneak a peek, expecting something sexy for tonight. But I get the surprise of my life when I pull out an exquisite floor-length red satin halter style dress. It has beautiful crystal beading underneath the bust, and a thigh-length slit up the side. It’s more suited to a dinner party then for what I have in mind.

  Alanna reappears, gasping when she sees it.

  “Wow, Victoria, that’s beautiful. It must have cost a fortune! What’s it for?”

  “I don’t know,” I answer with a puzzled expression on my face.

  I reach for the note card and open it up.

  Victoria,

  6:00 pm, tomorrow night.

  Paul and I will pick you up,

  You’ll be my date to a charity event.

  Gabriel

  Holy shit. I feel sick. I shove the dress back into the box and curl back into the couch, rocking from side to side to keep my heart from splitting into two.

  “What’s the matter?” Alanna asks with a furrowed brow.

  “He bought the dress for me to wear to a charity function with him tomorrow night.”

  “Oh.” Her shoulders slump in perfect understanding. She sits down and wraps her arms around me in a gesture of comfort, but it doesn’t help.

  “What will you tell him?” she asks quietly.

  “I don’t know. What can I tell him that isn’t going to hurt him? Uh, sorry but I can’t be seen in public with you Gabriel. I’m pretty sure no matter how I spin it, it sounds awful. He’s going to hate me.”

  “You don’t know that,” Alanna soothes. “Just try to be as gentle as you can about it.”

  I grab my phone from the table and walk into my bedroom, closing the door behind me. I steady my hand as I dial Gabriel’s cell phone.

  “Hello beautiful,” he answers playfully.

  “Hi,” I say weakly. “Um, how are you?”

  “Better now that I’m talking to you.”

  Oh God, don’t say that. Not now.

  “I miss you,” he adds.

  I almost break down. “I miss you too,” I say shakily.

  “So did you get my package?”

  “Yes, I did. That’s why I’m calling.” I pause for a moment trying to formulate the right words. “I… um…. I’m so sorry Gabriel, but I can’t go. I’ll send the dress back to you, I can’t accept it.”

  “What do you mean you can’t go?” he asks in confusion.

  “Listen, it’s really complicated. I…. I can’t really explain it more than that. I just don’t think I’m the right kind of girl for you to take to these types of functions.”

  It’s a lie because I’d love nothing more than to be by his side. But I can’t.

  “I see.” His tone has gone arctic. “So… what is it? Are you ashamed to be seen with me in public?”

  “What? That’s a ridiculous question.”

  “Obviously it’s not,” he says.

  I don’t know what to say. What can I say? It hurts me that he would think that, especially after the amazing weekend we just spent together.

  “So what you said last night…”

  “I meant every word,” I whisper. “But it doesn’t change anything between us. I still can’t stay here. I can’t be this involved in your life. I have no right, and I’m sorry.”

  “We’re back to that again?” he snaps. “Victoria, I’ve already reserved two seats at this event. If you don’t accompany me, then I’ll have no choice but to take someone else.”

  Ouch. That fucking hurts. “Fine,” I reply weakly, hanging up the phone.

  I curl into a ball on my bed and cry myself to sleep.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Victoria

  Instead of going into work the next day, I opt to spend it in a comatose state on the couch. Alanna pulls out all the stops to try to cheer me up, but nothing works.

  I can’t bring myself to tell her that I’m in love with him. I know she’ll want to fix this somehow, but there’s nothing to be done. Eleanore is still out there, and as long as she’s looking for me, everyone around me is at risk.

  When I wake up on Tuesday, I check my phone to see that I still have no messages or calls from Gabriel. Sadness envelops me. My burning curiosity of who he spent the evening with is getting the best of me, and against my better judgment, I fire up my laptop and confront google. It doesn’t take me long to find out.

  Article after article pops up, photos of him and Anya together. Bile rises in my throat as I stare at the images before me. Photos of them laughing, dancing, and smiling for the press, his hand on her lower back in a sensual gesture.

  My stomach churns violently as I slam the computer shut. He hasn’t called me, and in the back of my mind I wonder if it’s because he was too busy spending the night with her. Maybe Anya was right all along.

  I curl into my mattress, choking back heavy sobs. Alanna bursts through the door with a concerned expression on her face.

  “Toto?” she sits down on the bed beside me, grabbing my hand. “What happened?”

  “He took Anya to the event,” I say weakly. God, I sound pathetic.

  “Oh.” She shakes her head, anger filling her eyes. “Why the hell would he do that?”

  I can’t help the sad laugh that bursts from my lungs.

  “He warned me,” I say. “He’d already reserved two seats, and if I didn’t go he would have to take someone else. I just didn’t think it would be her.”

  “What are you going to do?” she asks in a small voice. “I mean now. Are you guys going to be okay?”

  I don’t know how to answer that. How could we be? I can’t really be a part of his life in the way that I want to, and this is the cold, hard reminder of that fact. Ultimately, I’m going to have to leave. So why delay the inevitable? If it’s already this painful now, how can I bear to drag it out anymore? Our whole relationship is based on a lie. In the grand scheme of things, he hardly knows anything about me.

  I shake my head, my decision made up. “No, I’m going to end it
now. There’s no point in continuing like this. It will just hurt that much more in a month.”

  Alanna slumps at my words, looking physically distraught. It isn’t her typical reaction to this sort of thing. Usually, she’d be giving me a girl power pep talk, but she actually looks pained.

  “Okay.” She nods solemnly.

  I call up the courier company I work for and ask them to make a delivery for me. I package up the diamond collar Gabriel gave me, wrapping it carefully in tissue paper.

  It means you belong to me.

  His words echo through my head, making me sob again. It was an unusual gift, one that I’m sure would revolt feminists everywhere. But I actually cherished what it symbolized between us. Gabriel needs to have control over the woman in his life. I suspect it has something to do with him being used by women for so long. Women like Anya.

  Perhaps Gabriel can only have his needs met by telling women exactly what he desires. It saddens me. He’s so rough around the edges, but I know that isn’t who he really is. He intentionally makes himself hard to love, but I think that proves that’s why he needs it the most. I only wish I could be the one to love him. Somehow, a part of me knew that I always would. Like Artemis and Orion, fate was working against us. We couldn’t be together in this life, but he would forever be immortalized in my heart.

  Either way, I don’t really care what Gabriel’s reasons are for his need to control. Because what I learned during our time together was that I needed it more. Maybe that means there’s something fundamentally wrong with me, but I don’t care. I like his brand of rough sex. His pleasure. It didn’t matter what he doled out, I always knew I could handle it. Whatever he wanted to give to me, I would take.

  But it wasn’t right because it wasn’t mine to keep. I knew that all along, and yet I kept playing the game. And now, I have to hurt us both.

  ***